Shampoo
by NothingButAMemory
Summary: Now the toothpaste is gone, and no one knows where it is! WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING! R
1. Shampoo

**Author's Note**: Actually, there are three authors, but I'm the one posting it, so I get the note. Anyway, this fic was randomly created in the food court at our mall, at Riverfront Park, and in front of a movie theater. It took us a total of two days. Us being Holly, Mandi (Aquira), and myself. It's just for laughs, so don't be too harsh.

**Also**: Usually, I wouldn't ask for reviews, but Holly really wants to know how you like it, so if you could find it in your heart to review for Holly, please do so.

**Another thing**: This is not a one-shot. It will have many chapters, just all about completely different things.

**Last thing**: This is just a randomly huge crossover with Fruits Basket, Case Closed, YYH, and a guest appearance from National treasure.

Disclaimer: We do not claim any of the things listed above. We only claim the shampoo model. Holly can claim Jerry and Carlos, el rey del mundo y paramedico tambien.

* * *

Holly was grating cheese in her bathroom because her kitchen had previously exploded when she heard the phone ring.

As she answered it, Marika, on the other line, gave an excellent suggestion. "Let's go inspect parking meters (Holly and Marika's inside joke) downtown!" she said.

While downtown, inspecting parking meters, Holly and Marika ran into Mandi, Alexa (deathwaitsfornoone), and Memory in front of the electronic store. A TV in the window broadcast the newest headline.

"Shampoo crisis!" announced the commentator. "All the shampoo in the world has disappeared! It's the most terrible thing that's ever happened!"

Raily, Holly's boyfriend from National Treasure, appeared out of nowhere and said, "Hello!" in a British accent.

The news broadcaster continued, "George Bush was sighted just a few moments ago screaming his head off in front of the White House. We go now, live, to the front lawn of the White House, to show you all what your President is doing."

The TV showed Bush running in circles screaming, "No more shampoo! What will we do?" he noticed the camera and paused to make a peace sign. "Vote for me!" he said before continuing his circle running (a/n: We do not in any way, shape, or form, endorse Bush, it just seemed funny. Besides, he can't be re-elected this term.).

Raily randomly kissed Holly and disappeared.

Conan (Case Closed) ran up to the group and said, "We must solve the shampoo crisis!"

Chuu (YYH) stumbled up, with Kyo (Fruits Basket) helping him, as he had a major hangover. "I need shampoo!" exclaimed Kyo.

Holly and Mandi started fighting over Kyo shouting 'Mine!' while Marika, Alexa, and Memory watched in confusion.

"I thought we were inspecting parking meters!" said Marika.

Kurama (YYH) also watched as he approached. "What are you doing? What's yours, Mandi?" he asked.

Mandi paused, dropping the can of mace she had been holding. "Nothing!" she replied quickly. "I wasn't talking about Kyo! No… whatever gave you that idea?"

Kurama looked slightly suspicious. Holly only made it worse.

"Yeah we were!" she said.

"No, we weren't, Holly," Mandi said.

"Yes, we wer-" Holly began to insist, but Mandi covered her mouth and shoved her into Kyo.

"You can have him," she said.

Holly was happy.

-:-_Ten minutes later_-:-

While running down the street towards the mall, Conan tripped and fell. Carlos, el rey del mundo y paramedico tambien (fictional character Holly made up for our Spanish teacher. For those of you that don't speak Spanish, it says 'the king of the world and paramedic, too.) took Conan to the hospital where Conan was immediately sent into the OR to have his kidney removed because he fractured it.

Jerry (Holly's imaginary friend) came into Conan's hospital room looking for a lost sandwich because he was an ex-hobo, and Holly made him a million dollar agent.

Jerry gave them two dollars to buy toothpaste, which they promptly did.

Holly, Mandi, Marika, Alexa, Memory, Kurama, Chuu, and Kyo, went to the mall to investigate one of the many scenes of the crime: the shampoo store! The only clue was a clean strand of blonde hair.

"But everyone's hair is dirty!" said Holly.

"Yes, this must be a clue!" exclaimed Mandi.

Therefore, they went in search of blonde-haired people with clean hair excluding Mandi. We soon rounded up the only three blondes in the world matching that description.

"One of you must be the culprit!" exclaimed Memory as Marika and Alexa left with Kyo, Chuu, Kurama, and Jerry to help with Conan's fractured Kidney.

That left Mandi, Holly, and Memory to interrogate the blondes. One was a five-year-old girl, screaming for her mother. Another one was a famous shampoo model who was out of a job due to the shampoo crisis. The last was Keanu Reeves who had recently dyed his hair blonde.

Holly began acting like detective Stabler (Law and Order, don't own), further scaring the child. "Where were you when the shampoo disappeared?" Holly demanded.

"With my mom," sobbed the five year old.

"What do you think I am, some dumb cop?" demanded Holly.

"No, just really idiotic," replied the shampoo model.

Holly threw a magically appearing chair across the room. "Fine, I know a little girl couldn't steal all the shampoo. You're free to go," she said.

The little girl ran as far away from Holly as she could possibly manage.

Everyone turned to Keanu Reeves, as he was a hair-obsessed movie star.

"Why'd you take the shampoo?" asked Holly.

Mandi and Memory began whispering in the background. "I think Holly's gone crazy," whispered Memory.

"Yes," replied Mandi, "but let her do it. Maybe she won't hurt us!"

"I didn't do it!" Keanu Reeves screamed and then melted into a large puddle on the floor that sank through the floorboards.

The remaining people looked puzzled by Keanu Reeves'… melting. The interrogators turned quickly to the shampoo model. "You took it!" the chorused.

"Yes, but I had to do it," she dramatisized (inside joke).

"Why?" asked Mandi.

"Because," she placed her hand on her forehead for dramatic effect, "I didn't have enough banana peels!"

Please feel free to take a moment for a shocked silence.

"What does that have to do with anything?" demanded Memory.

"It has everything to do with it!" the shampoo model exclaimed.

"Where's the shampoo?" demanded Holly.

"It's in the hobo's shopping cart!" Shampoo Model said (a/n: I wonder how she got billions of bottles of shampoo into one shopping cart…).

"Isn't that Jerry's old shopping cart?" asked Mandi.

Holly pulled out handcuffs and a badge. "Surprise!" she said. "I'm a secret agent from the C.C.C.I.P!" Holly proceeded to read the shampoo model her rights (which Holly can actually do. Go figure.).

"I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids and your dog! (Scooby Doo, don't own.)

"Um… lady… we don't have a dog," Memory began, when Jasmine (Mandi's dog that reminds me of a coyote) tackled Mandi.

"When did we get a dog?" asked Holly.

"Jasmine, what're you doing here?" asked Mandi.

Just then, Jon fell from the sky, through the roof, and landed in a cardboard box. "Guys!" he exclaimed excitedly. "All the toothpaste is gone!"

_**TBC…**_


	2. Toothpaste

Author's Note: Yet another pointless, random story. Picks up right where the old one left off. Only, this time, the other authors were hyper because they'd just had ice cream -caugh-Holly-caugh- and chocolate –caugh-Mandi-caugh-. Oh, and I was on coffee. Lots of coffee…

* * *

Disclaimer: Don't own Lost, Survivor, Case Closed, Planets, Fruits Basket, Keanu Reeves (although I do have the same birthday), Albert Einstein, Inuyasha, Teen Titans, Law and Order, Spongebob Squarepants, or Yu Yu Hakusho. Holly owns Jerry the millionaire hobo. We own ourselves. Jon and Kelsey own themselves too, even though they don't know about this story.

* * *

SHAMPOO TALE 2 –

THE MISSING TOOTHPASTE

* * *

Last time:

Just then, Jon fell from the sky, through the roof, and landed in a cardboard box. "Guys!" he exclaimed excitedly. "All the toothpaste is gone!"

Now:

They all stared at Jon stupidly.

"What do you mean? Like… there's no toothpaste?" asked Holly.

"But wait!" exclaimed Mandi. "We have toothpaste that we bought with Jerry's money!"

Patrick Star popped out of the floor and said, "Then you have the only tube of toothpaste in the world."

"Where's my only love Holly?" whimpered Yuri (Planets).

Mandi then had a vision that Holly and Memory (me… I'm just too lazy to type out the whole thing) were on Oceanic flight 8-15 (Lost) and it crashed on an island.

On the island, Holly was ejected from the plane and landed on Dr. Jack (Lost), and they fell in love.

Memory ran into Sawyer (Lost) and pushed Kate (still Lost) in the ocean. They went back to see if Holly was ok and if she'd hurt Dr. Jack when she fell.

Suddenly, Holly, Dr. Jack, Memory, and Sawyer were back with everyone else.

"Holly is scaring me," whispered Mandi as Holly started obsessing about her Root Beer.

"I want coffee!" yelled Memory.

"And I _need_ chocolate!" screamed Mandi, emphasizing the word need.

"We should go to the mall!" suggested Memory as loudly as she could.

"Yes!" agreed Mandi.

They ran to the mall to get coffee and chocolate.

Holly shouted, "I'm coming, too! I want ice cream!" And ran off after them.

Everyone else yelled, "Don't leave me!" and chased them.

After ice cream, coffee, and lots of chocolate, the investigating group visited the shampoo model from the last episode.

"We need your help!" exclaimed Holly.

"Why would I help you?" demanded the shampoo model.

"We'll pay you," replied Mandi.

"How?" asked the shampoo model who shall be known as SM from now on.

"In banana peels!" shouted Memory, who was high on caffeine.

"But I'm stuck in jail for steeling the shampoo," SM reminded them.

"We'll break you out!" exclaimed Jon.

* * *

Holly and Dr. Jack stared to dance the Macarena. They then ate a dozen eggs. The eggs made them drunk, so they ate chili. Afterwards, Yuri gave Holly a flower. Then, the host of Survivor said, "Let's play survivor!" So Holly, Dr. Jack, Yuri, some paramedics, and a Fireman were on a team, and everyone else was on another team.

Holly's team won, and got a Dr. Phil gummy head. Dr. Jack got scared of it and threw it at Rockow (insane—in a good way—8th grade science teacher) who was eating pudding on the ceiling like a dog.

(a/n: Suddenly got very Holly centric, didn't it? That's 'cause Holly wrote that part!)

"What in the world?" Mandi asked, extremely confused. "What happened to us being in a prison building and breaking out SM?"

"This _is_ supposed to be random, though," Memory pointed out, still hopped up on coffee.

"I still would like to know how going on Survivor will help get SM out of jail."

Jon then ran out of the room and came back a few minutes later with his arms full and with Kelsey behind him. He dropped his load and everyone saw that he'd retrieved several explosive devices and a vial or two of poison.

"What's all that for?" SM asked very skeptically.

"It's for you!" Jon said. SM's eyes opened wide in shock and confusion. "We're bustin' you out!"

"But what's the poison for?" Mandi asked, rather worried.

"You get to cook some food and put the poison in it, like you promised," he explained, shoving the vials into her hands. "Now get cooking!

A giant kitchen then appeared next to SM's cell and Jon ushered Mandi in, locking an invisible door so she couldn't get out. He began to set up the explosives, turning around every few minutes to make sure Mandi was making the quiche she was supposed to poison.

Mandi finished the quiche and offered it to the host of survivor, but he turned it down.

Conan came running at the offer of quiche, but tripped and broke his hair. The paramedics rushed over to take him to the hospital so he could have an operation on his foot.

"Hey, a camera!" Holly exclaimed.

"Holly, we're looking for toothpaste, not cameras," Mandi admonished. "And besides, remember what happened last time? We wouldn't want Memory to hurt you again, would we (a/n: don't even ask.)?"

"But—" began Holly.

"No, Holly," said Memory Dr. Jack dragged Holly away from the camera.

Alexa randomly walked in with a bottle of shampoo. "I have shampoo, but no toothpaste," she complained.

"Well, you can help us," said Mandi.

"I want to help, too!" exclaimed Aqualad (Teen Titans).

Memory jumped. "Were did you come from?" she demanded.

"There," he said, pointing to a magical fountain in the middle of the room.

"Oh… that explains a lot," she sarcastisized.

"Hi, Aqualad!" yelled Alexa.

"What's _he _doing here?" asked Sesshoumaru (Inuyasha).

"Hi, Debbie!" Alexa yelled at him.

"Why are _they_ here?" grumbled Hiei (Yu Yu Hakusho) angrily.

"Hi, Hiei!" (Alexa again.)

"Hey," said Haru, the calmest of Alexa's husbands. (a/n: for those of you not understanding, all four of them are her husbands… we had to fit them all in somehow…)

"Hi, Haru!" (guess who)

"What's going on?" wondered a very confused Memory.

"Well, we're going to leave now," said Alexa.

"What about the toothpaste?" asked Holly.

"We'll get some more later," said Alexa. And with that, they left.

Holly, Yuri, and Dr. Jack all went back to the island with Memory and Sawyer. They ate fried shrimp that Jin (lost) caught.

"Can we get back to the case?" demanded Mandi.

"Of course! Why didn't you say something earlier?" asked Memory.

"Because she was busy trying to poison someone with her quiche," explained Kurama (Yu Yu Hakusho).

"I see…" said Holly with a very serious look on her face. "Mandi, you need to be arrested for trying to poison people! Detective Stabler, arrest her!"

Detective Stabler shook his head. "But she was forced to by him!" He pointed at Jon.

"But I'm innocent!" shouted Jon.

Stabler shrugged. "Ok then." And left.

BOOM!

Jon turned away from the huge hole in the cell he had created with his explosives. "There!" he exclaimed.

"But what about the guards?" asked SM, stepping out of the prison.

"Mandi can feed them poisoned quiche!" yelled Holly.

Several stereotypical security guards rushed in. "Hold it right there!" they shouted.

Mandi held out her creation. "Before you arrest us, do you want some quiche?"

The guards paused. "Sure," they agreed, not suspecting anything despite having heard Holly yell. They ate the quiche and fell over, poisoned.

Jerry, the millionaire hobo walked over. "You have to round up the suspects now! Stop fooling around!" he ordered.

"Alright!" everyone replied, racing off to do Jerry's biding.

Soon, the group had gathered three suspects. They were: Keanu Reeves, Albert Einstein, and Capitan Jack Sparrow.

Mandi looked at the suspects. "It couldn't have been Jack Sparrow because he was filming his movie!" she reasoned.

"Right!" Memory agreed.

Jack nodded and left.

"You! You did it!" shouted Holly, pointing at Keanu Reeves.

Keanu Reeves, whose hair was a pink afro with purple polka dots, shouted, "No!" and stuck sausages up his nose because he wanted to be a walrus. He then began to crab-walk backwards out of the room, but he blew up before he got to the door (Like that one guy from Lost!)

"But that leaves…" Everyone looked at each other, confused. "Albert Einstein!"

"Yes!" confessed Albert Einstein. "I took the toothpaste!"

"Why'd you do it?" demanded Mandi

"Because!" Albert screamed. "I couldn't find my car keys!"

"But they're in your shirt pocket," Memory pointed out.

"Oh." Albert took out the keys. "Then you can have the toothpaste back." He pulled on a chord that opened a trapdoor in the ceiling and they were buried in toothpaste.

"Another case solved!" said Mandi.

Lance Armstrong jumped out of the pile of toothpaste, looking distraught. "There's not shaving cream!"


End file.
